Pretty self-explanatory…side view of my face with almost a 30 lbs lost in about 3 months. Getting there, slowly but surely, getting there.
The second is of my face, front on…the “before” picture has a white out block because originally I was going to block out every face shot, but I never have been able to find the original of it without the block since losing my external drive…it doesn’t matter though - there’s a bit of progress - not massive, but there - and I’m happy about that.
So, a lot has happened since my last couple of posts. …but most importantly, and though it’s taken me awhile with midterms and a bunch of heavy distractions, I’m 229 now, which means that I’m no longer in the 230’s, ha…and that much closer to the sappy bliss of “ONE”DERLAND.
Also, I got some new tattoos, clothes, and a few dates lined up with the same guy as before…that being said, I know this is a ditzy sounding post, but it’s 5:52 AM, I just woke up to take a piss and decided I’d weight myself for the first time in a week. Good thing I did, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this shitty post on your end of the web. (Kidding.)
body positive consent? perfection.
Nailing body positivity and sexual positivity.
I like this.
THIS IS PERFECT
This should be a daily meditation everyone repeats daily.
I’ve been riding my bike around the city here for the last couple of hours. I got a salad at Subway, loaded with veggies and a small amount of fat free dressing. BUT I just stopped and got a cup of soft serve ice cream. I feel mildly guilty, it’s true, but it’s nothing I can’t burn off riding back home and around some more and so forth. I don’t want to beat myself up over it. I’m changing but that doesn’t mean I can’t have treats. I just need to continue to work on not hating myself if I do.
Oh…and…I like guys with long hair. Gah.
I’m getting a new piercing this week and maybe a tattoo. I’ve thought it over for the last 5 years, ha.
Ok, now back on the road I go!
"Does this filter make me seem cool enough?" - every instagrammer ever (which may or may not include me)
So yeah, it’s been a crazy last couple of weeks. The guy I wrote about in my last update post - well, we hung out again, I got a new job, college has been crazy, and my social life is heavily hectic as well. I’m not bragging, I’m just reeling because I feel like I’m fitting in finally. I’m not sure if it was the weight that held me back before (who am I kidding, I held myself back BECAUSE OF the weight, obviously), BUT life’s pretty alright at the moment.
I’m shooting promo videos at different clubs, working on some music collaborations, doing alright in school (for the most part (so far)), and I’m still managing to lose weight in this city.
Oh, did I mention? I made out with HIM over the weekend, and last…and during the week. Fucking hell, I’m not looking for a relationship or to “slut it up” (though I have nothing against “sluttin’ it up”), but you know how good it feels to be wanted, and to want right back - to press your lips against theirs and have the tension of them kissing you right back, smiling, laughing, sliding hands up their back and through their hair and feeling it as well? I’m allowing myself to be happy and take these risks, for better or worse (though mostly better). I know he’s not looking for anything, but neither of us are, and neither of us pressure each other for anything - in fact, I stayed the night with him in his studio and we laid together and kissed and cuddled and then just slept, and that was all. It was easy and pleasant, and totally cool because even just a couple weeks ago, I would have died if someone even hugged me, so terrified of them squishing my squishy body, lol.
I don’t care now. I’m changing. It’s great.
You can be anyone you want whenever you want…just be who you want at all times and don’t compromise yourself and all of those sappy possibilities that I could ramble on about endlessly. 5 pounds to lose or 400 pounds, you attain yourself when you want, and I’m finally pulling myself back to the surface - not just by kissing a guy (dreamy though, mind you), but by allowing myself to feel comfortable in wanting, and doing, and for fuck’s sake: BEING ME.
PS: I’M LOSING ABOUT 15 POUNDS A MONTH. I still have “cheat meals,” but I don’t feel like I’m restricting myself from much, I just am more active and don’t treat my emotions to food anymore. I know it’s hard, especially if you’re stuck in the same environment that enables you to gain weight or eat unhealthy or be inactive…but you have to start somewhere - cheat a meal or two or even three, but don’t cheat yourself out of being happy man. Seriously. Don’t.